Muffle Your Motorbike

Too much noise for me and my dog

By Brian Reynolds

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Photo credit: klose.c/CC

It scares me half to death. My heart will race for a minute after it happens. It’s an aural assault that my dog and I endure all too often. And I’m sure we aren’t the only ones who’ve experienced it.

You’re outside and the street is, if not nice and quiet, then at least at a normal, bearable volume. People, bicycles, motorbikes, cars and trucks are all passing by and, some of them are noisier than the others, but all in all it’s not a big deal. Then a roar of an un-muffled motorcycle blasts through the neighborhood so loudly that you’re convinced your ears are going to start bleeding. Whenever it happens my dog and I both leap about a foot into the air with a level of fear usually reserved for emergency life situations. I’m talking about those morons showing off just how loud their motorbikes can be.

I’m not talking about all motorcycles here. I don’t even notice most of the ones I come across during the course of a regular day. And I even understand the nostalgia of the culture but it’s not for me. I wouldn’t trust myself on one and I’m just not ready to donate my organs at this point in my life. If I’m going to drive somewhere I want a seatbelt and to be surrounded in a cage of steel. Ride a motorcycle if that’s your thing but don’t be a jerk and make sure your muffler is working.

Dogs have very acute hearing, much more sensitive than the human ear. If the noise level hurts your hearing than your canine is putting up with much worse. I imagine that what a loud motorbike sounds to a dog is probably similar to pressing your ear into a speaker at a Nickleback concert, unbearably painful.

I don’t understand why anyone would intentionally try and make their motorcycle louder. Literally everyone in the world except the soon-to-be-deaf person riding the bike hates the noise. It’s painful for my dog, and quite frankly, it’s driving me nuts.