Hey Cat – Get a Job!

In the debate of cats vs. dogs, this Get Leashed columnist counts one for canines

By Brian Reynolds

Saint Bernard dogs sit on snow after their arrival at Great Saint Bernard mountain pass

It is a timeless debate. A question without an answer. A quandary that only the universe can decide: which is the better animal, cats or dogs? Sure there are great arguments for both sides, but in my opinion, one fact tips the scales in favor of our canine friends: cats, for the life of them, can’t hold down jobs. They can track down the odd mouse here or there, but I wouldn’t want to see a cat facing off with a giant rat. That’s a job for a big dog or, more practically, an exterminator. Yep, when it comes to work ethic and general ability, there’s just no comparing cats to dogs.

Dogs perform incredible services for society. There are guide dogs for the blind, hearing-ear dogs that can alert the deaf to fire alarms, companion or therapy dogs, dogs in the police and military, search-and-rescue dogs, tracking dogs and detection dogs. The list keeps going.

Can you imagine a cat trying to herd a flock of sheep? How about taking a cat on a duck hunt? In fairness some cats can and do help in the therapy category because they’re really great at being cute and fluffy. Let’s just say cats have got it good if the only job they’re asked to hold is being cuddled. They’re basically furry little prostitutes, but without the sex.

catworking

There was a case earlier this year of a ‘hero cat’ who saved a boy from a dog attack. That cat was awesome and everyone went crazy about it. It was a one-off though – it might literally be the first and only time that has happened. The cat was a hero for doing the same thankless job that dogs have been doing for centuries.

Cats have lazy nicknames like Fraidy Cat or Fat Cat , while successful people “work like dogs,” and are “dog-tired” when they get home. And dogs are willing to die to save their families from cougar or bear attacks on a regular basis. That’s why there are so many movies and shows about hero dogs. Oh yeah, and that’s another thing dogs can do that cats aren’t into: they can act. Remember Eddie from Frasier? What a gem.

Don’t get me wrong, I love cats and had one growing up. He was great but he couldn’t protect my home like my dog does. My landlord doesn’t want to even poke his head into my apartment unless I’m there to watch my dog. It might have more to do with my landlord’s irrational fear of dogs but regardless, my dog is keeping uninvited guests from entering my home. Job well done.

If you want a really lazy pet that’s not going do any work, then a cat is great. If you’re looking to get something done, you need a dog.