Does Your Dog Love Penis?

He should, bull boners make a great chew

By Brian Reynolds


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There are many great products out there for dogs to gnaw their teeth on, such as chew toys, rubber kongs, antlers. But there are also some more… discomforting ones, especially for the newer dog owner. We’re talking about bully sticks—a popular and healthy chew toy made of “pizzle,” which is a funky sounding word for something that is actually bull penis – until you learn it’s an Old English word for penis, so that makes sense. Yum.

Now I understand how the image of your pup chewing on a smidgen of schlong while sitting by your feet can seem a bit unappealing. But don’t turn your nose up at the idea; dogs love them and having your pet chewing on a tasty meat-sock can lead to some entertaining conversation with your friends and family. The jokes basically write themselves. Some stores will list the ingredients as “beef tendons” or “dried muscles” rather than having to use the word “penis” on their label. While that part of the bull anatomy is indeed a muscle and tendon, it’s also nice to know as a consumer and pet owner if you’re buying a bag of d*cks or not.

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And when it comes to bully sticks, guess what? Size does matter. The bigger they are, the longer they’ll last. advertises their sizes as ranging from small/thin and medium/standard to larger pieces in thick, jumbo and monster. The wieners are dried and sometimes stretched and braided and are offered in a variety of flavors, such as natural and smoked. If you’re looking to change up your dog’s everyday chew toy, try out a few of the many options and see which wang your pooch likes best.

We harvest animals for meat and fur, so we might as well respect their sacrifice and consume as much of them as possible. Dogs have traditionally eaten whatever humans consider waste, so while bull boners probably aren’t going to hit our kitchen tables anytime soon, we might as well drop off a piece of pecker for our pets to chew on. They’ll gobble it right up.

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