Love him or hate him, Dan Bilzerian has a pretty cute cat
By Jon Nelson
Ahh, to be a millionaire’s cat. One wonders if Smushball—the beloved feline of poker-playing, womanizing, trust-fund beneficiary, Dan Bilzerian–would even deign to live in a studio apartment in NYC after the lavish lifestyle she has come to enjoy. And we’ll probably never know, as Dan Bilzerian’s money isn’t likely to run out anytime soon. Let’s just say Dan knows how to provide for a cat—and apparently for a woman too. This gun-toting funboy can be spotted picking up the bill for his various lady friends each and every day of the party he calls life.
Known to most as the douchebag of the century, Bilzerian’s hobbies include flying in a private jet, yachting, shooting guns and throwing teen porn stars off roofs into (mostly) the pool. His Instagram feed is literally bursting, with over 5 million people living vicariously through him. We hold our opinions on his antics to ourselves and will just say this: he seems to love Smushball.
Smushball is a Persian cat that came into Dan’s life not long ago. As far as anyone can tell, she loves lounging on plush furniture and carpets, chasing poker chips around the mansion and watching Dan have sex. For medical reasons, she had an operation that removed a leg, but that doesn’t slow her down at all – she still has plenty of time to pose alongside the huge breasts of whatever girl Dan has paid to hang out with him that day.
All in all, Smushball is pretty cute and we can’t blame her for hitting the jackpot in cat residencies. She’s obviously well loved, and if it can’t be you or I that gets to lounge around in Dan’s lavishness all day, it might as well be her.
Here’s to you, Smushball, you lucky ball of fur!