This Valentine’s Day, we’ve decided pets are best
By Leslie Phelan
Valentine’s day: the annual consumer’s blur of pink, chocolate, red and lace.
Guess what? Single people with pets are never missing out on anything! Need proof? Please refer to the following list of instances where pet-having has beaten partner-having, hands-down:
1. The time they didn’t get you a gift
Obviously getting gifts can be a magical thing but where there are no expectations, there is no possibility of a let-down. So when all you’re expecting is a warm reception and a wealth of love, you feel blessed you have a critter in your life that doesn’t know how not to deliver.
2. The time they didn’t judge you for eating all those chocolates
Pets don’t care how many hours on the elliptical it will take to burn off that shameless munch fest you just ingested. For obvious cuddle reasons, they’d like you to gain a few pounds anyway.
3. The time they happily held you through that chick flick marathon
They’re totally dedicated to supporting your mellowest desires. Without complaint, your little companion will sit with you through the cheesiest, most gratuitously sappy rom-com playlist ever.
4. The time there was no pressure to be a “couple”
No wondering what the next step is, no labels, no questions, no pressure or anxiety. It’s just love!
5. The time your relationship with your pet didn’t make your friends feel threatened
If you caught a good partner, you’ll inevitably have jealous girlfriends. They don’t mind sharing you with a cute pet, though! It means you’re home more. Safe zones are good; some women be cray.
6. The time they thought it was cute that you acted like a total wine-o
You know that sometimes you deserve the whole bottle and that Valentine’s Day is one of those days. No judgement here though, your rowdy plus one thought you were a beautiful riot and licked you all across the face when you came home from the tapas bar too champagne drunk to properly put on his harness.
7. The time they were totally okay with skipping the obligatory fancy dinner in favor of take-out
Alright, most guys would be okay with this too. But don’t even worry about looking good. Sweats is where its at.
8. The time they didn’t talk back, but just listened
Advice is cheap and commentaries aren’t always necessary. Sometimes, all a girl needs is someone with big, warm eyes who will listen to her gripe, keep their mouth shut, and never tell anyone the things she griped about in great detail.
9. The time they let you cry. And cry and cry and cry
Pets are in touch with the subtler energies, and while they’d love you to feel happy and great all the time, they can definitely sense when a good release would do wonders for your spirit. Let it out, they beckon. Dry your sweet tears on my soft and glorious coat.