5 types of dog moms that make even the most pup-loving males head for the exit
By Jon Nelson
The Purse Princess
Small dog in a handbag? Nope. If it can’t keep up with a leisurely stroll, leave it at home. And if it’s not supposed to be in a public place like say, the mall, a purse shouldn’t be an exception. You’re not a stickler for the rules, but you know a high-maintenance dog means a high maintenance owner – and you don’t want none of that doggy mama drama (insert 3 finger snaps).
Sure, you like to keep fit. You might even be a runner yourself. But you also know that dogs, while they might enjoy the occasional run, aren’t still trying to drop their freshman 15 and shouldn’t be forced to keep up with anybody’s fitness regimen. Especially if it’s hot out – that’s just dangerous. Your motto is, since a dog can’t tell us if they like something, they shouldn’t be forced to do it.
The Dress Up Darling
Why is it that the better-dressed the dog, the more Juicy tracksuits the mom owns? You’re all for a cute puppy jacket or sweater when the weather calls for it–even a fun outfit for kicks (you’re not dead inside after all)–but if a tutu makes a regular appearance, you’re headed for the bedazzled door.
The Baby Talker
Everyone has a different tone in their voice when they talk to animals. It’s unavoidable because they’re super cute, and it also helps to get their attention. But if a lady starts to drop “goo goos” and “gah gahs” in her pup’s direction and you suspect your two year-old nephew might display a more sophisticated vocab, it’s time to dip.
The Sleep Sharer
You’re all for cuddles on a lazy Saturday morning, but keeping the dog in the bed the whole night is just not your scene. This woman is obviously a little too attached to her fur baby and besides, you’re not one for an audience, if you know what we mean. And you want to know exactly whose tongue that is…
Bonus: The Selfie Star
We’ve talked about the narcissistic pet-owner before and it wasn’t pretty. You’re pretty sure she got a dog just to up her Instagram following. This non-stop selfie stick using, duck face babe puts her camera in her dog’s mug more times than you can count in any given hour. You know that if you found yourself dating her full time, your face is bound to be on the Internet more than Taylor Swift’s latest beau. And that’s not good for the rest of your dating life, know what we mean?