Testimonies from honest dogs
By Jon Nelson
We got the inside scoop from a couple dogs on what they pretend to hate but secretly actually really love. Here are their testimonies:
Huey, 6yo Black Lab says:
Sometimes I go so far as to growl at my owners when they try to coax me into the tub. Or I’ll plant my feet firmly on the ground and look at them with sheepish, pleading puppy eyes. They think I don’t want to get wet, but the truth is, because I make them feel so bad about it, they’re extra gentle and their soapy hands behind my ears feel like heaven.
Going to the vet
Cliff, 4yo Standard Poodle says:
I pretend to be a scared little pup when I realize they’re taking me to the vet. But let’s be real, our vet is hot and I love to feel his strong hands on my body. I usually whimper when they put me up on that cold metal table, but if it’s a hot day, that table actually feels great. Also, they think I hate that thermometer, but really it’s like heeeeey… I don’t get action like that at home!
Cee Cee, 7yo Portuguese Water Dog says:
If it’s wet outside, I’m on cloud nine. When they bring me back inside after a rainy walk, I pretend to run away so they don’t know how much I love it when they break out the towel and give those little paw massages. Sometimes, even when it’s not raining, I’ll find puddles to walk in so the towel becomes necessary even when it shouldn’t have to be. They really hate that.
Princess Di, 3yo Huskie says:
I usually try to eat the toothbrush so that they think I don’t understand what’s happening, but I secretly know my breath is terrible and this is making it better – which I love – plus, it feels fantastic. Sometimes I’ll eat poop (mine or others, no real preference) just to ensure I’ll get a tooth brushing that same day.
Leaving the park
Muscle, 9yo Boxer says:
I always drag my feet when we’re leaving the dog park, but I’m actually always ready to go. I get pretty tired of chasing that ball and humping all those other dogs. And I don’t really need to spend another minute with Claudia the Poodle. All she does is yap and it’s like – wtf? Do you live at the dog park? I think her owner is just trying to meet people. They’re both losers.
Eating the same food everyday
Colonel Sanders, 2yo Boston Terrier says:
Helloooo? My food is delicious. They have scientists like actually working on the flavor. I could eat this same food forever and I probably will. But I always beg at the table while my food bowl is full because I like them to get up and shake it around for me. I just like the sound it makes. My owners think I’m fussy, but Sandy’s just having his fun.
Maxine the Marvelous, 5yo Golden Retriever says:
I try to catch cats and because of my vicious nature while doing so, my owners think if I catch one I’m going to eat it. But if I ever do get one before it jumps the fence or climbs a tree, I’ll just give it a hug. Those things are f’ing cute – have you seen them? Those fluffy tails! I just want to rub them on my face. Why the viciousness you ask? Because I fear their adorable nature will win over my owners and turn them from dog people to cat people – and then where would I be?