No Girlfriend? No worries! You’re better off with a dog
By Jon Nelson
1. They’re always trying to get in your bed
They don’t need you to promise that you’ll take them for brunch or definitely call them again; they just want to get in your bed for the warmth and comfort. Dogs are so easy.
2. You can leave them at home when you go out
Dogs might whine a bit when you close the door and leave them behind, but when you get home, they’re super excited to see you and hold no grudge whatsoever. They’ll definitely want to get in your bed still.
3. They don’t try to make you jealous
They might sniff around some other people, but when it comes to tummy scratches and face licks, they’re reserved and weary of strangers, leaving the good stuff for you and you alone.
4. Their meals are less expensive
Compared to a girlfriend, treating your dog to dinner is pretty cheap. You can splurge on the expensive stuff (still cheaper than a date at a restaurant) but they don’t complain when you buy their meals in bulk to save money.
5. No need to buy gifts
Presents? Nope! You dog will be happy with sticks and old tennis balls. Forget the expensive chocolates too – they can’t even eat them! You dog’s bag of treats runs $8 and last for days.
6. They get over it pretty quickly
Been neglectful of one-on-one time? Just insert a long evening walk or weekend hike and your dog forgets you were ever a bad companion.
7. They take no time to get ready
Ready to head out? You don’t have to give your dog a heads up that you’re taking her out so that she can fret in front of the mirror for 20 minutes or decide what pair of shoes to wear. Your dog won’t ask you about the weather, either. Just grab the leash and go!
8. You don’t have to talk OR listen
Not a great conversationalist? Your dog doesn’t care. She’ll never be upset that you didn’t ask about her day and won’t accuse you of being a bad listener when you zone out like you do.
Bonus: Warm snuggles
You still get them with a dog but they come for free, without any of the stuff listed above!