7 Reasons We All Know Getting a Dog Means You’re Getting Married

Your friends tell you how they know you’ll be walking down the aisle soon

By Jon Nelson

dogmarried4

Hi! So you’re in love with your partner and you got a dog. That’s great! We just want you to know that if you’re not already married, you’re going to be. Like, really soon. Don’t believe us? Read our list of reasons that we know this as an absolute truth and try to tell us that they don’t apply to you.
Love,
Your friends xoxo

1. You spend all your time together

Right before your friends’ eyes, you turn into an old married couple. Instead of going out, you prefer taking a walk with your dog. You’re way less fun and you don’t even care because, dog!

2. You act like parents

You coo over your new puppy and worry about him when he starts to grow. Your desk becomes full of pictures of your happy family and you can’t help but think about where you’ll get married that will let your dog attend. You’re on your way to walking down the aisle whether you’re ready or not.

3. You’re way cuterCouple with dog

You’re always doing little things like leaving notes to each other signed with a paw print. When you’re not buying presents for each other, you think it’s adorable to buy things for your kid, err… dog.

4. You have less money

You haven’t even paid for a wedding or a house yet but somehow you’ve managed to have a dwindling bank account. Pets are expensive, man.

5. You negotiate

Your new dog is the source of some fights. Learning to negotiate and getting through this stage is great for your relationship but keep in mind that you’ll probably be married within the year, just so you know!

6. You’re really great at playing good cop bad cop

One of you has to be the bad guy around your dog and you start to argue over who it’s going to be. Somehow this makes you fall more in love.

7. You’ve fallen more in love

If you weren’t smitten before, you’re extra lovey now. You’re on the fast track to the chapel, that’s all there is to it. Even as you read this you’re probably Googling the possibility of your dog performing the ceremony (give that up, it’s not a thing).