Coming to terms with the fact that your pet is an 8 and you’re hovering around a 5
By Ava Agata Gorecki
You’re suddenly getting all sorts of new attention and you’ve noticed that pictures with you and your pet are receiving more likes than your methodically angled selfies. What gives? Whitney Houston, we have a problem.
Is it your new bobbed haircut? You wish: it’s your new pet. Let’s face it, he’s a solid 8 and you’re pushing a soft 5. So how do you come to terms with the realization that you’re not as cute as your pet? You can either use the cuteness of your pet to your advantage or you can battle him for adorable domination. We suggest the former. Here are four ways to make it work:
Make your pet an Instagram account:
If you aren’t as cute laying belly up as your furry counterpart, live vicariously! You’re a team now and your star doesn’t have the opposable thumbs needed to take his own selfies. You gotta accept the fact that Meatball fills out his sweater better than you. Your mug may not be able to wrangle in the likes, but your pug might.
Dress your pet up to camouflage your shame:
If you don’t feel like getting ready for the day, put a top hat on TinTin and be prepared to become invisible. With your pooch looking sharp, no one will have time to notice last week’s spaghetti stain on your yoga pants.
Put your pooch to work:
It’s a tale as old as time: the seducer using his borrowed dog to pick up hotties. Maybe you’ll come across someone who is just so enthralled with your mini-moo that they’ll want to make the dog’s life easier by doing you some favors. What can you ask for? Get your oil changed, have someone to build a piece of Ikea furniture, or whip up a home cooked meal (go for vegan – really test their love). All because someone wants to snuggle those cute, furry puppies of yours.
Get a Hot Dog Squad:
Just as any person appears more attractive in a group of attractive people, you may have to add more fluffy members to your Bitch brigade to up your own hot factor. You can travel safely in packs, create snuggle puddles of love on rainy afternoons, and on Wednesday’s you can all wear pink. Remember how flawless Lena Dunham looked in Tay’s girl Squad? That could be you.
If all else fails, you may just have to get a new haircut or an uglier dog (if such a thing exists).
Or if you are legitimately jealous of your dog, I wouldn’t shy away from pointing you in the direction of a good therapist.
Whatever you choose, you are actually beautiful the way you are and in the eyes of your pet you are quite purrrfect!