Get Leashed readers share their most ridiculous dating stories
Compiled By Leslie Phelan
It’s a jungle out there! This old adage is never truer than when concerning first dates that include your dog.
Dating itself can be an enterprise so riddled with cobwebs, false-starts and total freaks of nature it’s enough to make you want to forget it all, declare your pet your “life partner”, and turn your attention towards other ways to get love. In case any of our readers have ever thought they were the only ones with an awful, cringe-worthy dating tale, we’ve compiled a collection of stories so bad, so embarrassing and just so damn funny they BEG to be told at least once before they’re forgotten. See what Get Leashed readers had to say in our first edition of DOG PARK DATING DIARIES.
It’s The Thought That Counts?
“One time a guy I met off Tinder came over with a stuffed animal for my bulldog. The guy had seen a pic of him on my profile and knew he’d have to charm us both. It was a nice thought . . .but before I could tell him that Rupert, my bulldog, literally eats soft, fluffy toys for breakfast, he gave it to him. Before I could wrestle it from Rupert’s jaws, he’d swallowed it – WHOLE. Three hours in the waiting room at the after-hours vet clinic and a $300 bill later, our date was finally over. Yes, he took responsibility for what happened, but no, he didn’t offer to chip in on the bill.”
-Kate K, 32, Toronto
Stealing More Than A Kiss
“I met a hot guy at an off-leash park who had a Doberman like mine. We seemed to have a lot in common and spent the whole Saturday afternoon connecting while our dogs played together. It was all so perfect! I don’t usually have guys over to my place unless I’ve known them for a while but it felt like kismet that we’d met that day so I threw caution to the wind. We slept together. It was passionate, amazing and I fell asleep in his arms while our dogs cuddled too. Big mistake! I woke up a few hours later to the sound of my front door closing behind him. He’d snuck out! When I looked out the window to see him scurrying off into the night I saw he’d stolen the rest of my dog’s bag of food!”
-Esme H., Los Angeles
Off Limits Dog Park
“A friend from work wanted to set me up on a date with her husband’s attractive co-worker and so she e-troduced us. He said he couldn’t wait to meet me and wanted to link up that very day. I invited him to join Artex and me at the park after work. He was nice, even cuter than his photos I’d crept and I wondered how on Earth a guy like this was still single at 37. We were really hitting it off until Artex started barking at the big tree that stood right behind our bench. I went over to investigate and found a woman hiding behind it crying. She’d clearly just been eavesdropping on our flirtatious conversation. I was about to ask her if I could help her when she jumped up and started screaming at my date, calling him a cheat and a liar and shouting, “I told you she was off limits!” She knew about his date with me but had apparently vetoed me! He began to explain that it was his wife and they were in an open relationship. I didn’t even care to find out when exactly he’d been planning to fill me in on this minor tidbit about his life. I leashed up Artex and got the hell outta there. Leaving them in a screaming match behind me. I avoided that park for a month.”
-Veronika M., Vancouver
If you want to share your most weird and interesting dating stories with Get Leashed, drop us a line @ email@example.com or send us a DM. It goes down in the DMs.